A person told me what he wanted to attain and what he wanted to do. As he told me his goals, I noticed something …
One of his goals was that he wanted to tithe to his church. He wanted to give a portion of the money he made to his church so that they could perform good deeds.
Giving is important. The amount doesn’t necessarily matter; it’s mainly the idea that you are putting yourself — and your money — out there so that it will do good for others.
I asked this person, “How much do you give now?”
He responded, “Nothing. It’s something I want to do when I have more money.”
So I asked, “Why not begin giving now?”
There was a pause, so I continued.
“Just give yourself permission to give now. It doesn’t have to be a lot. You don’t have to make a grand gesture. Every little bit counts and, as your income grows, then what you give can grow with it.”
This seemed common-sensical to me.
It was a revelation to this person.
Here’s something I have discovered:
It’s not that a person doesn’t know how to achieve a goal …
… it’s not that a person doesn’t have the means …
… nor is it even that the person isn’t willing.
What happens is that the person is just not giving himself permission to do the thing he wants to do!
Instead of just allowing himself to do or get the thing he wants, he makes excuses about why he can’t.
If he wants to tithe, he says that he doesn’t have enough.
If he wants a new car, instead of investigating the various financing options that are available, he just files that goal under the heading “Pipe Dream” or “Later.”
Instead of springing into action on his idea, he over-thinks things.
Instead of inventing ways to make it happen, he invents reasons why it won’t work.
As Tony Robbins said, people don’t lack resources, they lack resourcefulness.
Stop it!
Now.
Give yourself permission to live how you want to live …
… to do what you want to do …
… to get what you want to get.
You are allowed to do so!
This is your life.
Live it.
Own it.
What is the difference between you and the people who succeeded?
Beyond what they did …
… beyond what they thought …
… beyond the actions they took and the alliances they made …
… it was the fact that in the beginning, when they first conceived their goal, they gave themselves permission to go after it.
Far too often, I speak with people who deny themselves their goals and their dreams, no matter how simple they are. And the only reason they do so is because they don’t give themselves permission to just go for it.
Give yourself permission to chase your dreams.
Give yourself permission to catch your dreams.
Give yourself permission to live your dreams.
If it will help you, I give you permission.
—
These great books unlock doors because they give you all the permission that you need.
Great information! I’ve been looking for something like this for a while now. Thanks!
Thanks!
T.
Kudos again for Tony…
It is unfortunates because of Societal Pressure over the past 4 decades we have been dissuaded to GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION to do whatever!
there seems to be a tendency to believe we MUST ASK Permission to BE.
This is a wonderful situation for those who enjoy being in POWER and want to enslave humanity..
But that dog has never HUNTED in Our Home.
Give YOURSELF PERMISSION TO Unleash YOUR true Authentic Self.
Nobody else WILL.
BUT remember to also Say Please and Thank you.
The Power of Gratitude is a Pillar of Success
Hi Chuck!
I agree 100%. If I may translate what you wrote into layman’s terms: It’s like the scene in the movie “Animal House” with the angel and the devil. While that scene was comedic and illustrated the battle betwixt good and evil, in real life, we have similar arguments with ourselves. In many ways we have been bred to ask for permission — and expect a negative reply. Once we let that “training” go, I think we have a better chance of shooting for the stars.
Have fun … Tony.
Tony, this is a great blog! When you talked about no allowing yourself to change, you hit the nail right on the head. I think if we can frame our desires in that context it will make a significant difference! Thanks,
Hi Tracey!
Thank you for your comment. I have found that with much of this “mind stuff,” it is ALL in the re-framing. It’s like splitting a diamond: without the correct angle, we’ll be striking forever with no effect; but once we find that proper place to hit and the correct angle, the diamond splits, “like butta.”
We — all of us — have this strange dual nature. (At times, it seems that there are even more!) We thus have that constant argument within us about what we want and what we were taught. I have found that instead of battling ourselves, to slip in through the “side door” at times, the side door in this case being the giving of permission. It’s powerful.
Thanks for commenting, Tracey! All the BEST!
Have fun … Tony.
PS – Visit Tracey’s company Tremendous Life Books (http://www.tremendouslifebooks.com/)and buy a few books. You’ll be glad you did.
Thanks for the clarity Tony.
I tend to be vague, at least you know my directions.
Hi Chuck!
No problem. You were crystal clear. I just wanted to provide a little (hopefully somewhat humourous) illustration. 🙂 You’re not vague at all and your words ring completely true. Thanks for your input.
Have fun … Tony.
A great article, Tony, and for his sake I hope your client took your advice to heart. He’ll find himself learning and well pleased if so.
This brought to mind two things to me, one of which you hit on, namely that it doesn’t have to be a Grand Gesture. It doesn’t surprise me that this potential client didn’t get this. After all, if he’s approaching you as an MKS mentor then it shows he’s pretty serious about adopting this wonderful philosophy as his way of life. And if that’s the case, then he’s doubtlessly immersed himself in a good many other, similar mind-stuff and motivational literature or programs or both. And if there is one failing that pervades much of contemporary success literature, it is the implicit notion that everything, but EVERYTHING, must be BIG! BRIGHT! ASTONISHING!
Yes, of course it’s wonderful and necessary to think big, to think “abundance,” to think prosperity and wealth and health and joy galore… but all of those big goals don’t simply poof into being just like that — they’re attained gradually. Big things are made of lots of little things, and are achieved via lots of incremental steps. This tends to get glossed over at best or simply lost outright far too often for my liking, so you were dead-on to set him straight on that score.
The other topic this brought up is kind of a variation on “priming the pump,” as I’ve heard it called. The notion that you take a leap of faith. Ordinarily it’s perceived as a means of giving so that you may get (more) down the road, but the concept can be adapted to this situation as well: he’s giving a little now and in so doing is setting up a pattern, setting forces in motion by making this gesture. Well, this may be a bit esoteric but I think there’s something to be said for it.
Anyway — again, great column. Hope you’re well and things are continuing to unfold productively for you.
Dan
Hi Dan!
Thank you for your comment. You got it. As Haanel wrote, “Life is an unfoldment, not an accretion.” I just read an article in FORBES (?) about investing and becoming wealthy from it. The gist was that no matter what your income, take a percentage of it, no matter how much or how little, and get into the habit of putting it into an investment or savings account every month and treat that activity as if you were paying a bill. In the book THE RICHEST MAN IN BABYLON, the message is the same: 10% of whatever you earn is yours to keep, which means that no matter what, save 10%.
Gradually, eventually, you will see the benefits of this.
I should note that the potential coaching client did NOT become a client. Why? We solved his “problem” on the first introductory call. I guess I’m a good coach, but a bad business man. Oh, well …
Thanks, Dan. It’s good hearing from you. As always, please let me know if I can be of service to you. All the BEST!
Have fun … Tony.
Tony, “..We solved his “problem” on the first introductory call. I guess I’m a good coach, but a bad business man. Oh, well …”
WRONG, my friend regarding “good Businessman.”
That kind of Action yields a better Harvest as the seasons progress.
Always wondered why so many kept their “Take” a 10%. Amazing what another 5% today does tomorrow and provides Peace, while pursuing Total Freedom
Hi Chuck!
I apologise for missing your comment here. Thank you for the vote of confidence. I hope it does yield a “harvest.” In one way, I think that you’re correct; in another, I am not so sure. As with all things, one must strike a balance. I have historically given more than I have received. That comes from me loving the work, loving the act of finding solutions to problems, loving making things happen. It does come around, though. 🙂
Thanks for your comment. All the BEST!
Have fun … Tony.
TONY:
I came across this excellent video…Take a 20 minute break:-),,,it really ties in well with your ‘Permission’ post here.
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unxL5RRhNb0
It’s the “Great” Matt Geib!
Thanks, Matt. Great video and it does go well with my little article, much like a cold beer goes with a sunny day of yard work. 🙂
All the BEST!
Have fun … Tony.